Hi my love Ryan!
Or what is it - I'm in total confusion - what's happening to my poor mind. It may sound so crazy but I feel something for you! It is a very great feeling love! I can't describe that great mood that I got up today in the early mourning thinking of you huging me in the field of flowers! It was a great dream!!! I didn't see such kind of dreams from time of my firstly falling in love!!! It was so wonderful as in reality!!! I feel love and this fact heat my soul when the spring has taken it's rules in it's hands and already warm in the street. I feel that I'm enough powerfull to make my dream come true and come to you to USA and to see you in reality and to shake your hand and to look into your eyes and to say you in person what I really wanted to say but can't get it in words on paper... It is so sweet - to think that it may happen to me and to turn all my life head over heels and bring me something I have never feel before. It is really seemed to be a land of the dream here. USA is something that does not seem to be real but some kind of fairy tale. I hope that this enthusiasm does not frighten you! I feel so happy thinking that some day we finally can meet in reality but not only over e-mail. I'm sure we are to meet someday. I need to know you in reality!!! Mmm... I want to tell you about why am I still alone... It is really hard here to find a man I want to be with. It may seem to be whim but it's not so. It is really poor here with good men. I can't describe it correctly but it seems to me that Russian man don't want to find their half in me. It is not good experience of changing boyfriends often but I come through it and it is all false. I hate that period of my life. I was crazy and finished at all to make mistakes in this life. Now I decided to find the man in other country and it happened that I decided to find him in USA. It was always my dream to marry American man. Of course that wish was mostly subconscious but finally I was advised to try to write to American man and I feel that make a good thing. I like what's happening to me last days. It is so new to me!... But I have known a little about how can I come to you. The most important is to get the foreign passport and visa to visit. It is not easy as have heard and but I think that there's no impossible things in the world. The most important is great wish and will to do what you want. I will speak with mother about this but firstly I need to know what do you think about this. I have learned that the cost of making all papers for me will totally cost about 250 US dollars but I'll learn it more better if you want. All this letter is so spontaneous but from the deep of my heart. I want to know what do you think about what I said to you in it. Is it really love - how do you think? This feeling makes me so strong and courageous. But in deep of the heart I'm afraid to read your answer. I want to love but what future will show?... I need to know your answer!!! I wish for you to answer me as soon as you can. I love you. It is a little part of me. I'm finishing at this... Zhanna.