Dearest Randy,
Thank you for your letter today, I am always pleased that you enjoy
reading my thoughts and feelings. Life is a strange thing that we
all have the chance to enjoy, unfortunately we have to live our life
in order to understand it and learn what we want from it. I have had a
relationship before that lasted for some years, only to come to an end
with one person falling out of love.
This is always hard but it teaches you more about your self and what
you want, you also then have the experience of what worked in you last
relationship to add to making the next one even better.As you get older and of course wiser you learn to live with life more
and not to make such hasty decisions and get angry with your partner.
You learn to talk and help each other and this will enable the next
love you have to last far longer and be far more rewarding.Relationship is a funny game with very different rules. In some ways
it's like a gamble. You have to make a few guesses and instincts and
hopefully will work out the way we want it to.
Our letters until now are full with love and romantic images of what
we hope and wish for to find in the other. What we want to give and
want to create for the other. I want you to know that my words come straight from my heart and only
because you inspire me to write these words to you.
I feel very, very attracted towards you!!! This letter is more about serious matters which is necessary to
help us to understand each other better. My only wish and goal is to
build a strong foundation for a long ever lasting love. My wish is to
have with you a balanced relation based on mutual respect. I know I
can learn from you. My heart and mind is open for all you have to offer.
For me that is the true journey in a relation. To discover each other
and both profit from what you can give to each other.
I can't deny that I am also very attracted towards you because I think
you are an extremely nice man. I dream about having you in my arms, being able to kiss
you. Forgive me for being so open!!! Tell me more about yourself. How you like to be in a relation.
What do you see as your qualities or what do you see as yours within
a relation.For me a relation is also about intuition and feeling. Like with dancing,
at the start there is always the question who is leading. To have no
misunderstandings or because you are not sure. But if you understand
what you are doing and if you are really into it with your heart, you
feel your partner so good, that it feels as if you are floating and
all goes automatically, because you became one.Now I will try to answer your questions.
So, my normal day. They are not normal because I am always busy! I get
up at 7 and go to my lessons. Then i come back and eat, three times a
week and also on weekends i go to my cafe to work, its name is
Espresso. Between study and work I go to my interpreter to write a
letter for you. That is all, i think. My style is romantic and sexy.I don't know what is my favourite perfume. I like flower scents, a bit
bitter, not very sweet.Yes, My birthday will be soon, I will be 25! Terrible! Life is going
on so quickly! I send you all my love,
Kisses,Your Katya
Dearest Randy!
You make me happy!
Your letters are like a present to me and so are your photos!!! Thank you.
YOU ARE PERFECT!
I close my eyes and i see you in my arms.
I would like to spend all my days with you, and i'm sure that one day,
i'll spend all of them with you.
This night, i couldn't sleep. You've come in my dream, in my thoughts.
You've come in my mind, in my night, and i dreamed to fold you in my arms,
i dreamed that you're by me, taking my hand.
I feel my heart lacks you, without your presence the light appears black
and i feel an emptiness in my life, in my skin, in my spirit.
I dream about you, and I don't sleep. I wait for our meeting like for
the end of a tunnel, the tunnel of my life, and on this end, i can see a
bright gleam. This gleam is you. Your face gleams like a possible hope, a
fairy story, a fairy dream. I'm seeing this bright gleam, and i want to
run in its direction. I don't want that you stay an idle fancy, i want
that you become real, my reality.
I want to share my life with you, to share my laugh and my tears, to
share all my emotions and my feelings, my joys and my pains, my hopes and
my despairs. And of course, i want that you share everything with me, your
thoughts, yours desires, everything. Would you like to share your life
with me, would you like to give me the right to love you all your life?
Give me permission to love you, to kiss you, to caress you, to give you
all my tenderness and my heart.
I read your letters, i see you pictures, i close my eyes and i give free
vent to my imagination, and i see you flying to me, taking my
hand, and you come back with me in your arms. You and me, flying under the
stars, through the continents, around the world, around our world, in love,
only in love.
You are invading my heart and my mind. You're so great, so... i don't find
the good word, i don't find enough words.
I dream of you day and night,
Yours forever,
Katya
Dearest Randy!
I was walking in the freezing cold, pouring rain yesterday.
People were diving for cover and looking miserable. I was getting
funny looks as I don't own a raincoat or umbrella and here I was
walking with my head held high, soaking in the raindrops as if they
were rays of sunshine, walking as if there was not a care in the
world and with a smile that must have pushed my ears to the top
of my head, all because of the thought of you. Knowing that you are
out there thinking of me too.
Dearest Randy, I don't quite understand what you mean 'tell me about
yourself maybe you cannot still understand that for me the external
things are next to nothing. Me it is what I have inside. I usually
feel uneasy if somebody asks me to tell about myself. what to tell?
I get up at 7 o'clock, I wash, dress, have breakfast and go to the
University? Then I usually have 3 or 4 double-lessons, then I
sometimes stay in the reading hall to get ready for seminars or write
some paper work. Yesterday I had to spend 5 hours in the reading hall,
writing my paper work (essay) on sociology. The Theory of
Stratification of the Modern Society Do you know the subject? Me too,
now! I read a lot about it and made a heap of notes! The work must be
ready for tomorrow. I always wait till the very last term and then do
in a few days what should be done in some weeks.
On Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays and Sundays in the evenings
I work at a cafe. It is called Espresso. i work from 5 till 10. I
get a pay 40 dollars a month.
About men you are a bit wrong. They are not blind. It is me, proud! I
don't like none of those who try to get my attention. They are selfish
and silly. As for you, you seem to be a man of my dreams.
Years ago, when I was a little child, my grandmother told me some myths.
I especially liked one of them. There was a beautiful princess and
handsome prince in that myth. There were difficulties and barriers between
them. They had many troubles but the prince knew that his princess was
the one who was created for him. After many effort they came together.
I believe that every person has a soul mate. Some people can find them
but not all. I had some boyfriends before but none of them was true one.
But I want to be sure you are the one! Time will show the truth.
I imagine Spain as a paradise. I cannot add more to this. I don't even
dare hope one day i would be able to see it even with one eye!
My family name is Osovskaya
I am thinking of you!
May happiness be with you...With Love...
Your Katya
My sweetest Randy!
I read your letter, and am speechless, I feel like I have found a
treasure, You ! ! !
The way you have opened to me, is much more than what I had expected.
Today at the lessons I could only think of you, doing so makes me
happy, I now know that on the day that I hold you in my arms, I will
never be able to ever let you go, I ask my self, is this true, or am
I only dreaming, is this an eternal love, or just a beautiful
illusion, if this is only a dream I don't ever want to wake up.
Sweetie, close your eyes, can you see me, I do, and I don't want
to loose this feeling, when I think of you, when I read your letters,
I can see you, You are nice, like a rainbow, will you let me hold you
and love you for ever????
You see how easy is to fall in love when there is two willing hearts,
with only the best intentions. My Dear Prince, I am willing to travel
thousands kilometers, because I believe that you can show me what
love is, I believe that you can change this lonely life, I want you
to show me. My love I believe in the power of love, is the light that
shines in your eyes, is your warmth, is the sound of your voice, is the
sound of your heart beating... Is you and me together for ever.........
I love you
Katya
My dearest Randy!
Thanks for your letter! Sorry for my late answer, I had some
problems, but now everything is ok, and I hope that you are thinking
of me. I am hurry to answer you today and tell you I am thinking
of you very much. You are a man from another country, so far away,
but I feel very close to you now. It is very nice to write you my
letter and to know that soon I will get the letter from you again.
And I will know more about you and I will live with hope that I
will meet you, and I will be able to talk to you, it is very good
to know that I may find the man who will be the main part of my life.
I received your message and it warms my heart and now I believe that
it is a beginning of something interesting and special. I am waiting for
this.
I always wanted something special from my life and it is hard to
understand what it is, it is hard for me and I think that I didn't find
this, because I have to feel when I will find. You are the man of my
dreams because you are special inside, open-minded and warm-hearted.
I dream about a man like you, attentive to me and who will love me with all
his
heart and will have the thoughts only about me, every minute, and I will
have a great feeling to you too.
I dream about you with love and care, I know you are a man whom I can
trust, you are sincere, honest, transparent, with good sense of humor,
romantic, with a lot of dreams. My dreams are becoming reality thanks to
you.
I am thinking of you always,
Yours,
Katya
My sweetest Randy!
Thanks for a nice letter again. You are so sweet as a diamond.
I feel that you come closer to me every day. I hope so much,
that one day you and me become to be a strong beautiful family
with beautiful kids and have a wonderful home.
I just want to be a part of your life. I also want something special
in my life: YOU. I'll never had dream about to find somebody like you.
You are so good, openhearted, with warm and real feelings, it means so
much to me. Thank you my love, my Prince forever.
My feelings to you are so big that you don't know. Sometimes the love
and feelings are painful for me. What if i don't get you? I don't
want to think of it.
You are only that man in the world i will have, you have all the
things that I'm looking for and want to have. Also my dreams are becoming to
reality because of you. THANKS!!!
If i could give you one thing, i would give you the ability to see
yourself as other people do, then you would have seen what a dear an
special person you are...
I asked God for a flower, he gave me a garden, I asked for a tree, he
gave me a forest, I asked for a river, he gave me an ocean. asked for a
frien and he gave me YOU.
Sometimes my eyes are full of tears when i think of you my
love. You are my only Love, and will always stay in my heart. I will
always love you, today, tomorrow and forever. I will never do
something
that could hurt you, never.I love you
Your Katya
P.S. I am so sorry, but my father doesn't let me to inform our address
to anybody, because we had some problems once with a delivery firm
which turned to be robbers. If you want to send me something, please,
try to find a good delivery firm so that I could phone them myself
and get my mail only after my father sees it is safe. I am so sorry!
My sweetest Randy!
First I want to say that I thought a lot about you, about us, and the
distance between us, you are so natural and full of love that I want
to be there right now with you.
Closer then close, body to body, I want to feel you, smell you, touch
you, hear you, and it's not possible for this moment, that hurts
right know. This makes me suffer!!
I am dreaming to be happy in my life, happy to meet you, I want to
make you happy, that you feel comfortable with me without fears, that
you can trust me, I want to love you like you have never felt this
before, doing things together and having fun, I have so many ideas
in my mind that you will never be bored, life is a serious thing but
it must be surprising at the same time, you only live once. I want to
surprise you, I am your surprise!!
I must feel passion, so much that it hurts, only then I can give
myself and talk about my feelings. I know you can give this feeling
because I get excited of you only of your words.
Passion is a chemistry that you can not explain, it's spiritual, it's
understanding without speaking.
Love means for me a deep mutual feeling of understanding and respect,
I can't live without knowing that somebody loves me,I grew up without
much love, and maybe what I missed in my childhood you could give me
to fill it, the emptiness and pain I had because my parents divorced.
I am sure I could love still, because I know it exists, I can give it,
I want to give, but not to everybody, only for a special person who
has the same feelings for me. Then I can say with no doubts you are
all I need. Accept the defects of the partner when living together.
My last thought before I go to sleep is You I have a bear in my bed
and it sound a little childish but I keep it close to me and i think
that the bear is you. But in my thought you are with me, close to me,
and I look in your eyes, I kiss your lips, and hold your hands, again
I look at you, and give you my smile, I hold you, I kiss every piece
of your body softly and in the morning I think the same.
I like you so much, I can't explain, you are so sweet, please,
be like this for ever and I will love you for ever.
Your Katya
Thank you for taking the time to write me, If you only knew
how happy your letters make me.
Thank you for being so sweet. Every day I find myself spending
more time thinking of you. My dear Prince, your letters are pure
inspiration to me. I want to see you and tell you that I miss
you more and more as the days pass. I want you to be my happiness
for ever. A lot of time has passed, I feel nervous, because I think
that love has finally found me, can this be Love ????
Perhaps, I want it to be, only time will tell, but I don't need to
wait for time to tell me if it is or not, somehow I know it is.
I think of the future, many years from now and I see you and me,
together, married,with a boy and a girl, our family, I know it may
sound a kind of silly but it is my dream, you are my dream, a life
by your side.
My dear Randy, I wonder how will it feel to have you in my arms, to
kiss you, to love you.Dearest prince! Now I will try to answer your questions because you
really made me think of some very important things.I had a boyfriend some time ago, we lived together for 4 years.
I loved him terribly. He abused, his behavior became somewhat
provocative. As if he wanted to tell me: you are nothing without me
My love and admiration made him admire himself more than he was worth.
Plus his innate selfishness. So, gradually he killed my love. It is
around a year ago we separated.My friends are skeptical about Internet relationship, especially with
foreigners. Maybe because it is not so usual yet in our town. They
don't tell me directly but I know, so I don't usually tell anybody
about the details of our correspondence because I don't want to hear
laughing and also I don't want other girls to envy me. It could
destroy my happiness if someone envies me, because it is negative
energy. I believe in these things, please, don't think I am silly, OK?
I cannot say I am ready for 100% to go abroad right now, I mean to
live there, to change everything at once, but I want it. To be ready I
need some time. First of all i must get used to the new idea and
after I will get used to the future facts. Do you understand me? I
know I have necessary forces to overcome all possible difficulties or
at least, to try to do it.As for being a teacher, sure, I love children and I would like to be a
teacher but if it is impossible, i would be ready to work anywhere, in
a cafe, for example or do what you would advise me, i am ready for
everything. Now I am doing my 4th year, so i need one year more to
graduate. I don't know if it is possible to continue my studies . As
for me, I would be happy if I really could do it! I
understand it is a long process to learn and to be able to
learn things. As for animals, I don't mind. It may be funny. Once I heard an idea
he who loves dogs, doesn't like people. I don't remember the
arguments, unfortunately, But i cannot agree with it, i think it is an
extremist idea. But actually i don't now. At least YOU are very
loving! Jealousy is supposed theoretically to be a bad feeling. It is usually
connected with selfishness or self-underestimation. As for me I am not
Othello wearing a skirt. But it would be hurting for me to see my man
flirting with other girls. It is very complicated. It is a question of
trust. But if I find out he had sex with another woman, I will not be
jealous. I will simply tell him I cannot stay with you any longer.
Sorry. I am going languages are very important. I am thinking of learning English
But I cannot go farther than thinking. It is connected with
expenses, I mean I will not be able to learn a foreign language
myself. I will need a good teacher. It costs money. Here is the
problem. Once i tried to start learning English. It is very hard. I
managed only learn three lessons. Then I found many things that I
couldn't understand and I stopped.You are right about children. It is better if a person feels he is not
alone. But I am afraid of giving birth to a child! I think i will die
with fear! Women say it is much more easier to bare the second child
than the first, but I don't have the first yet! Let's speak of it
after we meet personally and decide to go on, OK? i am sure we will
fall in love and we will overcome all the difficulties if we have a
goal to reach. and our goal is to make each other happy, isn't it?
I love you,
Your Katya
Your letter was beautiful as all your letters and I am very
pleased with it. Internet is for me as a big city with many
streets. You have a walk on these streets. You see men and women
who go past. We found each other in such a street and we are now
watching each other! What you will see, is the things up till now
I have written to you. You will see a girl who is honest and expects
honesty. You will see a girl who gives you love and expects love
from you. You will see a girl who is far away from you, who wants to
see you and ask you am I the girl, you expected? Am I the girl,
you want be with for rest of your life? Am I the girl, you want to
be happy with and if you want to make her happy? I would like, that
you look me in my eyes and tell me yes, you are the right one. I
would like, that you see me, and have really the feeling, I am the
right woman for you.
Well, lets talk about something nice, shall we? I want you so badly
that you never know. It hurts me every day i don't see you.
But if we want to be together, nothing in this world can stop us,
right?
I also dreaming like you, that we shall and will be together.
I often dreams about, one day when we make love, I will be pregnant
and
be the worlds most perfect mother. I also dream and hope in the future
you will be father to our kids. What do you think about that? I think
we
would be perfect parents. Imagine that: We get up at the morning at
Christmas day, it's snowing outside, it's very cold outside. You and
me and
our future kids are sleeping in their beds, then we burn up the
fireplace
and make a good breakfast for you and me and the kids. When we had
eating the breakfast, we go in to the living-room and see some cartoon
movies on the television. The snow is falling down on the trees, and
we just
have it good inside the house and have a great family life. Then we
hear
somebody knocking at the door, and the kids are running to the door.
They
yell: MUM, DAD, it's Santa Claus. We have got lots of presents for
the
kids. We are a lucky family..
Do you want this???? I wish that to become a reality one day.
I am glad you like my letters. Thank you very much.
You can be very sure that I will stay in love with you forever. Belive
me.
That's all I want. I have already fall in love with you. There is no
maybe, i WILL love you for the rest of my life. And it scares me that
the life is
going to fast and we only live once. To be yours is the most important
thing for me.
I dream about you every day and night, my angel.
I want to kiss you right now, hold you right now, be with you right
now,
holding around your body right now.
Kiss your sweet lips right now,do everything with you right now.
I want to se you as soon as possible. I don't care about the distance
between us, I just want and need to be with you for the rest of our
life.
I NEED YOU MY ANGEL!!!
With all my love to you
Your Katya
Dearest Randy!
I just received your letter and I must tell you....... I AM EXCITED!
I am excited because the energy and enthusiasm that is bursting from
this last
letter overwhelms me. I really love it, and before I say anything
else, let
make one thing crystal clear for you. I will be more woman for you
than you
can possibly imagine. When it is raining, I will make the sun shine
for you.
When it is dark outside and you are a little afraid, I will make the
light
come on. When you are just a little cold, I'll put my arms around you
and make
you warm. When you need a little hug, I'll hold you until you say
stop.
When you ask for a little kiss, I will take you to the moon and back.
If I
can make you happy, then I'll be the happiest girl in Ukraine. This
is for real!
My problems at the university are trivial now, because of my feelings
for
you, and your feelings for me. I feel great.
You have been honest and sincere with me since the day we met, and you
have
not stopped.... not even for a moment. Do you know what this does to
a girl like me? When you write to me I feel like I have melted in your
hands.
Thank you for your feelings! As for me, I feel I start falling in love
with you! But what is love, actually?
My answer to this question is simple: love means to feel to belong to
another person. These are simple words, but if you think about the
deep
meaning of this phrase, you will understand that what I have told has
a very important concept. Feel up to belong to another person means
accept
the own friend as he/she is, with his good and bad qualities. Share
the
life of all days long, the dreams, the hopes, the happy moments and
the
sad moments. Sacrificing oneself, if necessary. Do you know the
formula
that is used for the marriage? Katya, do you want to take as
husband Randy etc.? Yes, quite that. This is a thing that, it's my
opinion, should know all the couples that decide to get married.
Preferably
before the marriage. However, that is what means to feel to belong
to another person. But it's not enough: the feeling must be mutual. As
I
feel up to belong to another person, I must also feel that my friend
belongs
to me, sharing the same ideal. Love and feel to be beloved, this is
the way
for the happiness. I have read your letters with attention and know
their
hidden meaning: very probably you would have used more poetic
expressions,
but you would have expressed the same concepts. I love you for this
reason too.
I am excited to imagine that in summer we will be together and that
earlier, you will come to me here. But I am very worried about my
absence
of English. How will I tell you about my feelings?! How will I
understand
what you tell me?! I need to take at least some lessons. This problem
worries me day after day, gnawing me. Well, somehow we will overcome
this.
Kisses for my Prince!
Katya
My dearest Randy!
Not me, you are the one, who makes me so happy to write you
these letters.
Your letters are so great and you give me the feeling, that I'm
flying in the sky. I can imagine always very well, what you write
me and it gives me the feeling of warmness, happiness and power.
You make me so happy, that it is not easy to be expressed in words,
I cannot write it in words, but I think you feel it. You give me the
feeling, that you are the person, which is my other half and I hope
I never lose my other half.
I'm really surprised about the situation, that I'm so sure about you,
somebody I never talked and saw. I think our relation became something
special.
How can I tell you how much you mean to me?
I never thought I could have such feelings of love and romance
for a man I have never met! It is tempting to think we have the
perfect relationship, and perhaps we do! Of course, I must confess
that I hope you are not perfect, Randy! That seems strange to say,
perhaps. I love everything about you - the way you look, the words
you write, your outlook on life, your thoughts and dreams. But I am
a girl who has good and bad qualities, (mostly good I hope!), and so
I hope you will accept me completely for who I am, just as I accept
and cherish you for who you are.
I like reading your ideas. I enjoy all your romantic thoughts and
all the serious ones. Life is not easy. At times it can be wonderful
and exciting, as we grow together in our lives. There will be problems
in life, but overcoming problems is what makes us human. We struggle
against difficulties, but enjoy and appreciate the good that God sends
us.
As fore learning English your idea is interesting. But to find words
with translation is not a problem. I have a dictionary at home. The
problem is to put them together, to express ideas with phrases, not
with words. It is very difficult and impossible without a teacher.
To learn spoken language, one should take special intensive courses
or private lessons.
As for English courses. They are different, there are many schools and
courses. The best, as far as I know from other people, are very
expensive, the have groups of 6-8 students, have lessons 5 days a week
(evenings, that is). The course for every group starts individually,
as soon as they have at least 6 persons to start. So, if I will be the
first, I will have to wait till they find other 5. But they say it is
not long to wait. The courses are intensive and have flexible
timetable. It means, you can follow them as long as you wish (maximum
is 2 years, and you will be a professor after that period)But it is
also
possible to get the basic knowledge during two or three months and
then stop. They usually cost 150-200 dollars.
Another option is private lessons. It depends only of finding a good
teacher, and I could start the next day after I make an agreement with
him. Such teachers usually ask 5-10 dollars for a lesson.
I am not sure I could learn the language only with books and
cassettes.
I will need grammar to be explained and so on. It is very hard. Well,
somehow I will overcome this.
I send you all my kisses, and all my love. There is a limitless supply
of all the good feelings that I have from you and for you, so enjoy
the kisses I send. More are yet to come!
Your loving sweetheart,
Katya
Dearest Randy!
I am sure it's a miracle. For some months only, we wrote each other a
lot.
And we're going on. That proves there is something magic between us. I
think
and I hope that you agree with me that you and me found an attractive
personality in each other. Really it's a good sign.
And for me, you're in my life, you're a part, a big part of my life.
And on
the feeling side, you're the only part.
I'm very happy that you're confident with me, because when I think
about
you, my heart is full of love and good intentions. And yes, I believe
you.
You know, when we started to write each other, in the beginning, I had
some
doubts. But I decided to bet on you, because I felt that you were very
close
to me and you seemed so special, so lovely. Every day, every letter of
yours
confirms that my choice was good. But today it's no more a choice,
it's just
a fact. Without you, my life would be very empty. I don't know how to
explain
to you the reason of my feelings towards you. I just feel it inside.
Your dream is so beautiful! I imagined all this clearly, the only
thing
which doesn't go is that in Lugansk we don't have an international
airport.
The scene you described will be in Kiev. Then we will spend a night in
a hotel
and go to Lugansk.
I saw on TV a report about a disaster near you, it is really terrible.
But you at least, have a good fresh air to breathe while we have an
awful smog over the town. The industry and cars produce too much
harmful gases!
Another thing, very unpleasant for me, and I am so ashamed to tell
you. Soon,
I will run out of the money completely, because I had to spend much on
the medicine for my mother and also to buy a winter coat.
Very frosty weather has suddenly come, with sharp wind and 10 degrees
below
zero, so I had to go to the market Sunday morning and buy a warm coat,
because it was impossible to suffer this awful cold! Forgive me! I
will not
be able to go on with my letters soon, I only hope you will not get
angry
very much with me.
My dear Randy, I read your letters, I thought about you, and I know,
today,
that it exists on this planet someone who is like I looked for,
someone who
I can love without limit.
I am always dreaming of you,
Katya
Oh, dear Randy!
You are just thinking like a person who lives in a rich country and is
used to all possible comfort! I am sure you've got insurance of
everything and if your people are in trouble, the state and the
government will absolutely help. yes, of course, our Ukrainian society
is also eager to enter the European community and become one of the
civilized high developed countries. But in fact our reality is so wild
that you cannot imagine it! Of course, my mother gets a pension. Do
you know how much? It is 30 Us dollars! Do you know that if you get
ill, you don't get any compensation, any insurance at all?! Yes, there
are free State hospitals. You will get care for free. It means, a
nurse will come up to you and make you an injection and you don't have
to pay for it. But you have to buy all the necessary medicine, because
the hospital is poor and it cannot provide free medicine for people.
You must buy everything yourself, even cotton, infusion sets,
syringes, bandage, everything. Then, you will get a free nutrition. A
plate of boiled cereals with water (soup) in the morning, a plate of
boiled cereals without water (porridge) in the evening and both
courses in the afternoon. I am sure in Spain in jail people get better
food. So, not to die with hunger, you should buy food yourself. She is
my mother and she needed medicine, so I helped her as I could. I hope
you understand me. My father has to help me, my sister, his wife and
he cannot help my mother when she needs. We sometimes live from hand
to
mouth. My father doesn't buy things for himself for many years. He
lives to support all of us, and I am very ashamed that I am still
depending on his help. He pays for my study, he gives money for food,
cloths, the most necessary things. He pays for heating, electricity,
gas and so on. We don't eat meat at all, only cheap sausage sometimes.
Food is expensive, everything is expensive. You just cannot imagine
how
we live here.
As for sending the letters it depends on my interpreter also, she
sometimes doesn't translate at once and sends when it is ready, then
she says she often has problems with viruses, she also has another job
to do, sometimes I also don't have time to write, I am getting ready
for the tests and seminars, I have to spend a lot of time in the
reading room and so on. I am not sitting all day in front of my own
computer and I want you to understand that. If you think, you will not
forget me if I write you once a month and it will be the best proof of
our friendship, so let it be so. I don't mind. OK, I will wait for
your letter in Russian. Katya Osovskaya Ukrainskaya 7/41 Lugansk 91021
Ukraine
As for the telephone we just don't have it.
I am waiting for your letters,
Love from Katya
Dear Randy,
Yes, I wrote to some other boys and I think it is not so criminal,
because I want to have choice. It is normal. And why don't you like
if I write I love you, I need you? Do you prefer me to write I hate
you? Sure, it is not about real love, but about some platonic
feelings.
Why do you think it is impossible to have such feelings for more than
one man? Why can't you understand that I cannot afford depending on a
will of only one man? And wait until he expresses a desire to meet me?
I could wait till I get old! The question is really about meeting some
men and choosing the best. If you don't trust me it is not my problem,
I guess. It is your, boys, fault, because you are all too much
mistrustful
and slow in feelings.
I wrote you once, I guess, that I am not perfect. Yes, I want to have
choice. If you like it, you could blame me for it. And go on looking
for an ideal but I hardly believe you will find it.
I new about this site and that one of my ex penfriends did it with
me. It is terrible! Some girls are really bad because they took money
and then
stopped writing. But some other like me, I even don't know the reason
why they are there. Somebody wanted to play detective, to expose a
bad girl. Only because it SEEMED to him, her letters are too full of
feelings. Only because he didn't like her way of writing! (I for
example use often PS, but it is my stile!) Everybody has a lot of pen
friends and sometimes sends the same letters to different persons.
Personally I know some girls who correspond with the same men and
these men also write the same words, I will love you forever, I will
do
everything you want and so on. Why a black list for men does not
exist?! I understand if somebody really asked for money and then
stopped writing, it is even something criminal, but to suspect it is
too much! To write our address to be known all over the world, it is
too much! I know who did this, he is from Sweden, he suddenly stopped
writing me and actually I can call it only with one simple word -
treachery. This incident taught me to be cautious and not open up
before
everybody. I cannot trust people anymore. I was so silly!
I don't want you to think of me that I want to use you. After seeing
this list I understood that women wanted mainly to use the men and I
don't
want to be among them. I felt very depressed then. I felt like dirty!
I don't know how I recovered of that shock and now you remembered it
to me again. Thank you very much.
Best regards,
Katya